May 2002:

I am still intrigued by that report that came out a few years ago. The results of the study may surprise you. An in-depth look at "friendship" among American adults revealed that men in today’s society are largely friendless. Some 60% of all the men over the age of 30 cannot identify a single person whom they would term a close friend.

Most of the minority who do report having one or more close friends, say that their friendships were established during childhood, high school, or college years. American men seem to cease making friends as young adults. Most adult men today have no one of their own sex with whom they feel a genuine closeness.

What do you think of this?

The study shows that adult American women fare slightly better. When asked, most women can name five or six other women whom they term "close" friends. But when the subject is probed a bit, many of these so-called close friends are merely ‘functional’ – that is they know one another from one particular part of their lives: the pool, the circle, a garden club, bridge, whatever. Much like the men, American women often share nothing with those persons outside that specific context.

In short, the study shows that contemporary Americans are, overall, a pretty lonesome, friendless bunch.

What do you think?

Barbers, beauticians, and bartenders wind up serving as outlets for the pent-up, unshared feelings of millions. Therapists prosper as thousands willingly pay $100 or more an hour just to have someone to listen to them. Support groups of all kinds are the fastest growing sociological phenomenon of the past decade.

For, the truth of the matter is, we all need friends, don’t we?

Several years ago, family therapist, Virginia Satir wrote a book entitled, Peoplemaking. Not only was this a good descriptive for what happens in functional families, but I thought was descriptive of the church, as well. In the best sense, we, at Christ Church, are about "peoplemaking." Here, we teach and share values which enhance a person’s life and enable full growth to occur.

Referring to Jesus as the New Adam means that everything has started over. The whole creation was redone, and we now have new definitions of what a person is. And our task is to take individuals where they are, and help them to be more like what they were intended to be – a new people.

Our churches are probably the only place left in our culture where there is any chance of making friends – of bonding with another person around common concerns, common interests, a common faith.

Let the word go out that Christ Church is a place where friends are made.

See you in church,